Demons - Part II

Region: Devoid  

Location: Thakala II - Foxx Manor House

Date: 24.11.121

Time: 03:17 Local time

The cold sand pressed into her body as she struggled against the weight of him, an unrelenting force compressing on her with unmatched fury, forcing the air out of her lungs. She tasted the iron in her mouth as the blade slowly dug into her throat, releasing red trickles of lifeblood down onto the beach, only for it to be washed away by the rising water.

Time slowed, and looking up she saw another figure, a Caldari man, standing just a few feet back. She tried to call him but no sound escaped her lips, and so she reached out her arm instead, surrendering the only barrier that prevented the force above from consuming her. The figure merely looked at her expressionless and unmoving, before slowly turning its back and walking away, leaving her grasping for help in the sand as darkness overtook her vision.

***

There was a brief moment of dark between nightmare and reality as Sahriah jolted up in bed, rapid shallow breaths escaping her lips as a familiar sense of unshakeable dread filled her. She looked around, a cold sweat running down her face, her vision distorted, the room warping in on itself; as if the distances between objects had been elongated.

Scrambling to drag the blankets off her, she managed to roll out of the bed to the ground. Reaching her hand out, she searched for the soft familiar support of Ja'tek as he came dutifully to her side. She clutched his fur, using the body of the large Syrikos hound to steady herself as she struggled to control her breathing.  Her heart pounding in her chest, she squeezed her eyes closed as if to ward away the nausea and sat curled up against the warm fur until the attack finally passed.

Stretching out an arm to the desk beside the bed, she curled her fingers around a glass of water and brought it to her lips, leaning her body back against the side of the bed. It had been several weeks since the last time. Sometimes she thought the gaps between them were increasing to the point where they would disappear, but they never did. As much as she wanted to forget she had come to accept that some memories were permanent.

A wet nose brushed against her cheek and she lifted her hand to stroke Ja'tek as he moved to lay down in her lap. She was thankful that she was able to bring him with her to Thakala, as he was not welcome in most of the stations she visited. Even Jacob had not been a fan of the hound's presence, always reminding her of his Slaver lineage, despite the careful breeding she had done to ensure he was properly tempered.

Her mind wandered as she closed her eyes again, giving in to the weight of the constant fatigue she had felt since arriving in Thakala. Juggling the duties of alliance leadership within Triumvirate, and managing the return of her position within the sect was beginning to take its toll. Jacob. What would you say if you knew I had returned here? She brushed that thought away immediately, before she could upset herself with the answer.

Leaning forward, she rubbed her hands over her face, resting her elbows on her knees as new waves of emotion rolled over her. It wasn’t enough that little things had to remind her of Jacob occasionally, but now even Tiger wouldn’t leave the matter well enough alone. Argument after argument, he would always return to the subject whenever she questioned his blind devotion to Shalee, knowing he could control her with it; manipulate her emotions to make her feel pain, to bring her down to his level.

“I love her Prathet. You still have such little appreciation of love.”

“How do you manage without the need to feel loved?”

“You have truly no idea how it feels to lose a love.”

“You don't just walk away from someone you love, if you have a heart.”

He was relentless, taunting her about the man he himself had forced her to let go of, until his constant chiding of her personal life had become too much. Until she had finally snapped on him.

"You can't take love" she had sneered back, "Love is given. And true love is the ability to let someone go, if all you do is hurt them." She had let each one of her statements sink in. "You are blinded by obsession."

“Obsession?” his hand raised instinctively for her neck, the other holding her head completely still as he squeezed at her throat, tightening his grasp; his eyes never leaving hers. He continued to choke her until the life had started to drain from her face, and just before crushing her windpipe completely, he released his grasp and let her fall to the ground.

Sahriah ran her fingers across her neck. Those arguments had been weeks ago, and she had been careful not to raise the subject again so directly after that. But he had noticed her quieter, more restrained demeanor, even when he had invited her into his office for a few drinks.

“Can't you just relax and enjoy my company, Prathet? You’re so guarded. Can’t you see you needn’t be so. Not tonight” he sighed, watching her for a few moments. “Come and kneel before me.”

As she complied, he leant forward towards her bowed frame, reaching up with both hands and placing them squarely on her shoulders. Digging his thumbs into the back of her shoulder blades, he raked his fingers along her collarbone, feeling the muscle. “You are so tense”.

“You're my Prathet, Sahriah. You are my weapon, my conscience and my council. I don't want you to be afraid of me. I really do value you”.

Even as she remembered them now, his words sent a cold shiver down her spine. She had become so accustomed to the careful navigation of conversation with him that she found herself constantly on guard when he was around. She thought back to him, his fingers curling around her neck, placing just enough pressure there to test her trust of him; knowing he could simply tighten his grip and drain the life from her at any moment. Knowing that he would, should she say the wrong combination of words.

There was a certain thrill to it, the unpredictability of every action. Something about the mixture of fear and adrenaline that had become addictive in the dynamic of their relationship. Every time he touched her, she was reminded of the beach; of the punishment he had inflicted on her following his cloning. And every time he showed her the smallest affection, the smallest amount of gratitude for what she had endured in service to him, she was reminded that he could be a good man, that he could be kind; that change was still possible, in spite of the past. She frowned at that thought, Jacob's words immediately resurfacing in her mind. “He knows exactly how to lure you in, can't you see that?"

She looked down at Ja'tek, softly caressing his ears and feeling guilty about questioning Tiger's intentions when he had only asked her to share a drink with him. He had been much kinder to her lately than he ever had been in the past, yet she still flinched whenever he so much as touched her. There was some scar there that she didn’t know how to heal. Something beyond her ability to control.

Sahriah took a few long deep breaths, trying to settle herself and bring clarity to her thoughts. Tiger was still obsessed with Shalee, despite everything she had done to him; despite her disregard for their marriage. So much so that he would have killed her in cold blood to win Shalee back.

"Do you not care that he would spill your blood so easily?"  The thought of Shalee's words in her head as well was too much.

Tiger wanted her to embrace love, perhaps to even seek Jacob out again, but how could she ever allow herself to risk becoming like that, like him? Love is a chain, like equality, like fear or uncertainty or self-doubt. It binds the strong to the weak. She reaffirmed in her head what she had come to understand from the Sani Sabik teachings; the lesson Tiger himself had unknowingly taught her, and it provoked a realization. Something she had been missing.

“He will kill you one day Sahriah”. It was Jacob’s warnings that still rang in her head, even after all these years.

Fear was the problem. Despite the life of near immortality she enjoyed, fear was the thing spawning the nightmares in her head while she slept, the anxiety, the involuntary recoiling from his touch. It was the thing that fed the constant guarded tension between them. Fear that he was going to kill her, that he would kill her eventually; that it would be out of her control when he did. And she didn’t want to be afraid of him anymore.

Rising to her feet, she looked over at the time display on her bedside table. It was still early. There would be plenty of time today, to do what needed to be done.

“You're a damned fool sometimes."  

“I know Jacob.”